A b*tch of a week

Well, the heading says it all.

Because of two things – two pretty big things.

I won’t go into detail about the first because it is not relevant to this blog but the second is about my weight. Not my body but the number on the scales. And it has left me questioning.

I am talking as a woman here, because I know this issue applies to the vast majority of women no matter what their size. And after chatting with men about this blog, it affects them too (p.s. I really appreciate your frankness).

Let me start by saying I do believe in good health – regular exercise, a nutritious diet and a well balanced life. However, for the purpose of this post, I am specifically talking about the way a single number makes one feel. No matter how you look at it, that number on the scale is purely emotional.

I am confident about who I am. Fact.I’ve had a well rounded education which has resulted in a huge variety of interests. I am a good person, I work hard, I believe and have faith in people, I can see the positive side to things, I stand up for what I believe is right, I can have and am good fun, I try to treat people well, I am passionate about life and I don’t break the law (generally…I have been known to park in no parking spots but I have paid the $100 to repent my sins; several times). My weight doesn’t define who I am. I see who I am as so much more than a number on a scale. It is a number that hasn’t affected me for years. And for some reason, today, it really affected me. Affected me so much I shed a few (hmm plus some) therapeutic tears in the shower after finding out that after a week of flogging myself for a week, I lost 100grams. Good thing I didn’t have that glass of water otherwise I would have put on weight!

Firstly, when did my mission to increase my fitness turn into a quest to shed the kgs? It is a welcome side affect but NEVER the main motivation. And secondly when did a number dictate how I felt? When I saw that number, I actually felt like s*it. I was shocked and stunned. The most disturbing part, is I felt really confident with how I looked and felt before getting on the scale. How did that feeling turn around so easily and quickly? That revelation also upset me.

I’ve increased my exercise levels to improve my fitness for the naked swim. I can feel my muscles growing (my thighs are seriously hard) and I can go harder for longer – in the gym! No matter how sexy the lifeguards are, I really don’t fancy needing to be rescued while in the buff.

This experience proves to me that doing this swim is more important than ever. For me. And if others benefit from it, great. I am passionate about this issue anyway, but again today has vastly increased my appetite to spread the word and help raise awareness of positive body image.

There is something very seriously wrong with defining someones worth by a single number on a scale.

So what is going to change as a result of today? I am going to continue focusing on my health and happiness. I am not going to weigh myself in the foreseeable future. It doesn’t do me any good. Even if I do lose weight, it shouldn’t validate how I feel about myself. I will be able to tell progress with fitness levels, how I feel, and how my clothes fit.

I am also going to endorse another project which is currently being run by an overseas blogger called “Smash The Scales”. When I read it, I agreed with it – passively. But after today, I am going to actively push it.

Tonight, as I write this there are still so many unanswered answers in my head. But, I went on to have an amazing lunch (ironic, I know) with someone I hold in the highest esteem and we discussed our lives and our passions. And it made me wholeheartedly happy.

 

 

3 thoughts on “A b*tch of a week

  1. As I read your post I nodded along in agreement. Last year, after a few bad health months (nothing serious, just generally feeling crappy), I sought the advice of a naturopath who answered a few of my questions and put me on the right diet path (diet, as in way of eating, not low fat diet). I should lose 15-20kg to be in my healthy weight range, but the lifestyle change was more about me feeling better and having the energy to look after my kids. Each time I got on the scales after such a huge change in my food intake, and feeling great, not seeing a change or worse, a gain, I felt crap. Was reduced to tears and did the whole, why bother, thing. I have not weighed myself in 3weeks and feel great. I have no idea if my weight has changed, but I am eating the right foods, my clothes are fitting nicely and I am focusing on my health not the number on the scales.

  2. If I can give you any advice it would be to measure and have your body fat tested. I have dropped 34% body fat down to a healthy range however according to my height and weight I am still obese. I have a high muscle mass and train really hard! measurements are your best key to see if the food and exercise changes are working. 🙂

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