A Worthy Video #HereIAm

Over the last few months I have been looking into some interesting opportunities and taking time to learn. I needed to do this so that I can learn about myself and remind myself why I genuinely like who I am. I want to constantly find ways to become more aware and improve myself so that I can focus my time and live a life which fulfils the many, and various dimensions to my personality.

One of the areas I have been focusing on is self worth; or in other words how I view myself. Like anyone I have insecurities but I’ve always had a strong understanding of who I am. I’m grateful to have an ability to say “this is who I am, enjoy me or move on.” I don’t completely understand where this came from, but I do remember making conscious decisions along the way to enjoy my life, especially if others don’t agree. Not surprisingly there have been PLENTY of people who do not agree with my choices; mostly because they struggle with their own.

I recently found an Unworthy video which I wanted to share with you. Several plus size bloggers were interviewed about why the size of ones body, shouldn’t define who they are. A message I wholeheartedly support and have done so since I was 8 years old; way before it was in vogue.

But, this message seems to be focused at the more voluptuous lady (like myself). For me, the message needs to be far further reaching than big girls. I am yet to meet a person who doesn’t have an insecurity lurking deep within their soul – some people just have a better way of dealing with it. And, if more people were comfortable with themselves maybe they would be more accepting of themselves and those around them. So, no matter who you are, I hope you can benefit from this message too. And go live YOUR life!!!

 

 

You Don’t Look Like You Have An Eating Disorder

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As I was scrolling through Facebook earlier today, a video titled “You Don’t Look Like You Have An Eating Disorder” caught my eye.

A group of people with, or who have survived, eating disorders were interviewed. The purpose was to show us the harmful misconceptions society hold about eating disorders and the impact this can have of those who suffer from them.

Please watch the video. There is a high chance a friend, family member or even a lover has an eating disorder – you just don’t know it because it’s so secretive. I know people in my life with them, and I’ve been blessed enough to have them open up so I can hear how they view themselves, what type of illness they have, how they do it, and why they do it. It’s incredibly confronting.

People with eating disorders are so shameful of the way they look. There is so much hatred and disgust when they look in the mirror. And unfortunately it doesn’t just alter their mood for an hour or so, they live with it every hour of everyday so the flow on effect is felt within their worlds as other relationships are affected by it. Is this not hell?

About 30 million people in the United States experience eating disorders at some point in their lives, but even more experience disordered eating; this is when “a wide range of abnormal eating behaviors, many of which are shared with diagnosed eating disorders.”

And people wonder why the body confidence movement is necessary! Not everyone may be comfortable looking at plus size, or petite, women online but the above statistics are related to the US ONLY. What if we could encourage and nurture more self love. Maybe people would focus inwardly and not be so critical of others which naturally perpetuates the cycle. And if we stop, or even slow down the cycle, we can reduce these these alarming stats.

Reading the materials and watching the videos has reinforced why I am again doing the Sydney Skinny. We need to learn to understand and accept our bodies. We need to stamp out these unnecessary and very harmful illnesses.

WatchCut has realised this video as part of a series to raise awareness during Eating Disorder Awareness Week.

Essena O’Neil: A Tale of True Values

The last few days have seen Aussie teen blogger Essena O’Neil thrust into global mainstream media with the headline that she wants to quit social media. Why? Because it is fake.

Essena is hugely popular on social media. Before the publicity push she was sitting at 500k followers she is now at over 900k ( the cynical PR hack in me is currently being handled). Her YouTube and Tumblr accounts have also been a fantastically popular.

You may remember Essena allowed me to write a blog post about positive body image in the lead up to The Sydney Skinny 2014. She was the only blogger to support me in the lead up to the swim and I approached numerous people including several plus size bloggers. Silence. I knew then that she genuinely saw the issue of body confidence as real and necessary – I didn’t know the reason why.

Being a blogger can have its perks but it does open one up to criticism – which I’m sure she is feeling in full force right now. For her to achieve what she has is no small feat; especially at such a young age. Her YouTube video message is distressing to me because it is clearly a cry for help as she questions who she really is. I know full well how confronting this process is – it partly explains my recent silence.

To grow up being obsessed with the measurements of your body and desperately wanting to be accepted into what people view as the cool group is crazy. Treating your body with respect is so important (and something I have not always done) but letting this define who you are and your values is nothing short of misguided. Wanting to put ones best foot forward is important but what chance do children have when the message about being skinny as the ultimate life goal is consistently being pushed by role models?

I am not suggesting that people shouldn’t strive to be accepted. Everyone wants, and deserves, to be accepted but that doesn’t mean it’s in the most talked about or visible form. Sometimes being accepting is challenging the status quo – if you think it, others will agree with it too.

I’ve struggled with this in my life. I’m a middle class, white female; my life and what should be important to me is pre determined in the eyes of most. But anyone who knows me, knows that my spirit came from either an African American or Latina woman / gay man – culturally very diverse to my upbringing. Anyone who knows me, sees a passion and curisoity bubble under the surface which I struggle to unleash in an a suitable way. When I do it typically looks like a big mess. How do I marry my differences with my value system to create my authentic and fulfilling life? Maybe I need to sit with Essena over a cup of tea and chat it through; I’ve no doubt we would learn to pave our own paths

Essena is 19 years old and is already asking herself remarkably profound questions about who she is. She has what many view as the perfect body type and yet there she is crying on camera because of how miserable she is. Maybe it’s not what is on the outside but how you feel about yourself inside. Maybe it’s about channeling that sense of authenticity and focusing one a bigger goal/movement.

For a 12 year old to obsessively Google the measurements of models waists because she wanted a lifestyle she believed to be real is heartbreaking. I’m not a hater of social media because so much good has come from it but the vast majority of us seem to get believe the white pearly smiles of those plastered on social media are real and permanent. They may be real during that snapshot but they are not lasting. Nothing is forever in this world.

There is no doubt this country and many others around the world have a very skewed view of what a normal body or life looks like. If only there were more 12 year olds learning about inspirational people, history, arts, world issues then maybe people would learn what is important to them. Or maybe images and conversation around beauty were different children would grow up to be more accepting of themselves and in turn others.

This media storm around Essena has come at a time where I am asking myself the same questions. And for the first time in a really long time I see a far brighter future as I focus on myself, others and the greater environment we share. Sometimes the devil truely is in the detail.

Essena, haters are going to hate so fuck ’em.