You’re Weird

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Image courtesy of the WWW

Have you ever been told you’re weird? Or that thing you did was weird?

I have. In some sentences, repeatedly so.

This is a tag I have decided to own and not be ashamed, embarrassed or withdraw from. I own this tag like a boss and wear it proudly like a badge. A big, shiny, badge sitting on my chest for everyone to see.

Is this statement…weird?

Weird is a term people use when they don’t accept, agree or understand you or your choices. Often it comes from a place of insecurity, ignorance or  judgement.

Knowing this is empowering.

Information is key. Typically, there are now three choices to make; you can either invest the time to bridge that understanding, let it be and agree people are different, or just walk away from the situation or relationship .

Each situation will require a different chosen path.

People will always have different view points on you and your decisions. A friend or family member might not like the way you cut your hair, the size of your ass, your new nose, sexuality, new boyfriend or holiday locations. The list is limitless and can be as petty or significant as one can imagine.

Some people will disagree with you, others will agree with you and the rest will accept those decisions as yours whether they agree or not.

If you’ve thought out your decisions, believe they reflect your real self and are in your best interest, then it is what it is.

Everyone is different and it’s time people start accepting it.

 

 

PCOS, hormones and excessive facial hair

This post isn’t my most glamorous….

But for so many women around the world, including myself, polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) has many, many unglamorous downsides – including excessive facial hair.

I know my PCOS is going crazy when my facial hair starts to grow very quickly. It’s typically in the same spots; just under my chin and the sides of my face. I pluck, and wax, but within a couple of days the hair is back; and it’s angry. Even though it can be a lot worse it does make me uncomfortable and at times self conscious.

After many conversations with a friend of mine about hair removal for women with hormone imbalances, I decided to give electrolysis a go. Thankfully for me, she has been my (and our!) guinea pig. She has plucked, waxed, done laser and electrolysis; for her, the only treatment which stopped the areas affected by hormones was due to electrolysis. However, it is painful and expensive.

Thankfully my friend researches everything to an inch of its life and has recommended the Advanced Electrolysis Centre in Sydney.

I called to see when the next available appointment was and as I have luck on my side, they had a cancellation and I am going to visit them today. The next available appointment is in three weeks!

I will let you know how I go…..

Sydney Skinny: Bare again

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Sometimes you don’t know how far you’ve developed until you’re tested again.

For me, participating in the Sydney Skinny, was always an experience designed to see if I could shed my clothes (in public!) and be comfortable with it. From my previous test runs, and the 2014 event, the answer was no. With that said, I completed it.

I was nervous leading up to the event. Despite my gym sessions, I felt my body was bigger and saggier than 2014. However, I was determined to face my fears and complete it despite this.

And I had a great time!

One of the elements I really enjoy about the day is the community vibe feeling the day has. Food vans, music, gloriously sunny day and so many smiley faces – it’s designed to relax people and remind people that life is for living and how friggin good that can feel.

This year, I was part of Team Nudie. As I walked over to the tent to pick up my Nudie goodie bag and register, I was horrified to notice that most of the women had their tops off and were having messages painted on their bodies. For those reading assuming they were naked, wrong! There were kids around…c’mon. The bit that gave me the ‘stomach sinking into my legs feeling’ was thinking of the two options I had in front of me – get involved, take my top off in front in front of the crowd and suck it up, or, play it safe and keep my top on (naturally I was thinking ‘I don’t really want body paint anyway’….).

Of course I got involved but farrrrk it was hard. I was nervous for two reasons – one,  because the bra I was wearing  was recycle from a very success date the night before (boom chika wah way) and not ideal for 9am, sunny day wear. The other reason was I would need to put my perfectly imperfect round belly to the clothed world around me. Majorly uncomfortable.

But, I did it as though I didn’t give two hoots. I slowly peel my t shirt above my head, sat down (ARGHH THE ROLLS), smiled and requested the team nudie logo. When completed, I slid back into my t shirt.

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Clearly not me, but to give you an idea…..

Well, I’ve never done that before. And boy, I was feeling very proud of myself.

When the time came, the group congregated at the meeting area. Time for a group picture!

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Then we slowly made our way down the windy, rocky, dirt path down to Cobblers Beach.

And just before we arrive, as because I wanted to, I had a selfie with our team Captain, Tim Dormer.

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When we arrived at the beach, the previous waves were returning to shore in all their naked glory. But in fairness all you see are a bunch of heads bopping up and down on the surface of the water.

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I put my bags down and started chatting with a very handsome 30 something year old man who was telling me how much we was enjoying the day. I was enjoying looking at his bare chest and trying not to look below his waist….oh wait….heyyyyy big boy (unfortunately I don’t have any pics of this to share…)

I stayed clothed for a few minutes, chatting and enjoying…errr looking at the broader view. My breaths were definitely increasing and I started to do the little dance I do when I either need to pee, or I am uncomfortable. I didn’t need to pee….

When the group was called up I slid off my shorts, and my knickers (maybe a g banger wasn’t the most sensible underwear to choose) and finally took off my t shirt and unhooked my deliciously black lacy bra.

I am naked! What surprised me this time around was how comfortable I was walking to the water. I found it a lot more relaxing than 2014, and even more relaxing than having paint written on my back an hour earlier.

Because I like a plan, I decided I was going to take a completely didn’t approach to my previous swim. I am not going to treat it like a race. I am going to slowly make my way around the 900m course. And I did. I chatted with people as I past them, or they swam past me. I was even dared by one of the lifeguards to swim under his board. So I did remember at the last minute to not do a dolphin dive. I was naked but I doubt the world need to see my bent over bottom rise from the clear waters of Sydney Harbour.

As I walked out of the water, it was so nice to be greeted by smiling faces, music and so much laughter.  I chatted with a various people about how amazing the experience is – and how proud of themselves they were for doing it. The beauty of the event is it brings people together for all different reasons. One lady was standing there in all her glory after telling me she was there with her daughter, how her husband wouldn’t have seen her naked for year yet here she was! In front of hundreds of stingers. I think her husband will soon be getting very used to her strut her naked, glorious self around the house. Another guy mentioned he was ok with being naked but wasn’t a strong swimmer and wanted the support of swimming 300 metres at the beach.

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It doesn’t matter what the reason is, I was so proud of everyone who attended – even the amazingly fit entrepreneur who picked up a couple of girls. It doesn’t matter what your reason is, for being there, it’s about getting involved, pushing your boundaries and having fun. And the day represented all of that and more!

Will you attend The Sydney Skinny 2017?

Thanks for Nudie for all the images in this post.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Long Silence

Something I’ve recently learnt is the importance of sitting still and thinking. I’m naturally an extrovert and with that comes the need to vocalise many of the thoughts running through my brain. I no longer believe this is entirely necessary nor something I want to give.

Apolgies for the silence but despite promising posts it has been necessary that I stop, think, question, source information and learn. As self indulgent as this sounds, it needs to be about me. A lot has happened over the past 6 months but the last 4-6 weeks I’ve finally reached a stage where I’ve learnt to look and analyse myself. I can more clearly hear what people are telling me and I’m open to absorbing the messages needed to help me evolve.

It’s only recently that I have learnt to comphrend what the concept of personal change means.

I’ve been asking myself significant questions around what makes me happy – Career? Friends? Money? Men? What’s important to me and what do I want from life.

Unlike William Shakespeare’s famous quote “what’s in a name?”, where Juliet argues it does not matter that Romeo is from her rival’s house, the name of this blog, the connection and authentic representation to and of my life very much matters.

I look forward to sharing an evolved representation of what living as a quaintrelle means to me but it won’t be immediate.

Project Pheonix – Rise From The Ashes

In Greek mythology, a phoenix is a grand bird which continuously is reborn.

Apparently it obtains new life by rising from the ashes of its predecessor, which according to some sources, dies in a show of flames and combustion.

As I reflect on the past few months, this analogy rings true. The difference with me, is I have not yet arisen from the ashes. At this stage there is no bird – the ashes are still re-grouping and waiting for rebirth.

What I am certain of, is that the next version will be better than the last. And when adversity hits again in future years (which undoubtably it will – as is life!) then this repeated process will again happen and I will continue to grow and develop.

I know many of you are on your own journeys, so I encourage you to follow, as I have dubbed my journey “Project Pheonix”.

What steps am I putting in place ? Well, you will need to wait for an upcoming post to read the how…..:)

Phenix

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R U OK?

Today is R U OK day.

I pay attention to this day every year however this year it is particularly important to me.

Earlier this year a friend of mine committed suicide. Needless to say he had a rough trot and ultimately could not find any other way to find peace. I think about him often, and wonder if he had the opportunity to really deal with the issues he faced. Being a male did he find it harder to talk about what was going on and decided to keep the extent of his concerns bottled in? The last time I saw him we shared an amazing bottle of red, and we did discuss some of his previous challenges. What I didn’t know was how much they still haunted him. I don’t have the answers to many questions I would love to ask him but I do know that he was surrounded by people who loved him and were shocked and devastated by his passing. People who did, or would have, listened to the answer to R U OK – no matter how raw the answer may be.

As important as it is to ask R U OK and start the conversation, it’s important to continue having meaningful conversations all year round.

I’m a ridiculously lucky SOB and am surrounded by people who love and accept me as I am. I’ve had some challenges this year, and for the first time, have truly needed my friends. Not just need them, but they have literally supported me. They have been my legs and carried me when I couldn’t carry myself.

One friend in particular, a true soul mate (Hey, Fi!) and one of the loves of my life, would call me once, twice, or as many times a day as I needed. To talk, to cry, to vent my anger. She would listen, discuss, encourage and follow up. After our kooky greetings, she would always say “How are you?” It would usually be followed with “Talk to me” or ” Tell me, what’s going on?”.

For that, I will always be grateful. Always.

So please do ask your friends how they are. Sometimes you know if they are having a shit time, and other times, you won’t – so go on, ask the question. You may never know the difference you’re making to someones life.

For more information about the R U OK campaign click here.

You Gotta Move It, Move it!

About a year after I gave up an already lax exercise regime, but I am back at it!

I’ve decided to go back to Vision Personal Training but this time in Neutral Bay because the personal training sessions motivate me to actually go. I am really lucky to have an amazing trainer who not only manages me but is also really pleasant company and we typically chat as he makes me lift things. Heavy things.

Unfortunately today was my final training session with him! He has too many commitments and is burning out, so somethings gotta give. Unfortunately for me it’s his time with the Vision team.

Ah well, apparently my new trainer is a former NZ football player. Not sure to be nervous or excited! 😉 Time will tell.

I have been going for about 4 weeks and am down about 5kgs. Not a bad innings considering I somehow added one kg.

Many of you will know that I don’t believe one should be defined by the number on the scales. In principle I am still aligned to this approach for general wellbeing and mental health. However, this time around I am determined to lose 15kgs. I’ve recently put on weight so I am going to lose it and a few extra.

I will post some of the exercises I enjoy and seem to work for my body. But if you have any tips on what works for you, please feel free to comment below or email me! I’d love the feedback.

I will also keep you up to date with any more successes (or disappointments) !